Impatience as an Expression of Selfishness

First things first, this wouldn't be a true Guide to Unassured Behavior if I didn't provide in someway of how I misunderstood and how it led to unassured behavior....again. My time China has further helped me realize just how carried away I get with stories, more importantly, how AWESOMELY I get carried away with stories (see previous post). I'm very misunderstood in this country, not by Chinese people, but by the people on my trip and at work.

For instance, I really offended one of my coworkers today by offering my take on the recent fires in San Diego (I really hope everyone in the area is ok). My coworker was reading aloud about the fires and once he finished he said, "I wish I was a fire fighter in the West, that would be so cool." And me being me, I took it to the next level. Here is a brief excerpt of today's dialogue:

Seth: "OH MAN I KNOW! But I think I would be a fire fighter in Boston...you know what I mean? I think Boston because I would have a thick accent and burly chest hair. And if anyone disagreed with me on anything, I could fight them, preferably in a bar, and win, because I'm from Boston and I'm a firefighter."

Co-Worker(in an offended tone): "Um....no, I meant the saving lives part and helping people...you know, being a decent human being"

Seth: "You mean in a Howie Long, 'Fire Storm' kind of way? Like just bringing the pain on terrorist and fires? In a helicopter?"

Co-Worker:........(blank stare).........(looks down at desk, continues to work).....

Sorry, but you know it would be awesome to be a Boston firefighter...or Howie Long.

On a completely unrelated topic: I've learned a lot in these two months. Namely, the manifestations of selfishness. I call one of them impatience. The Shanghai subways are a perfect example of this. It's just like it looks on TV, too many people and complete silence. It will really stretch what your idea of "comfort levels" and "personal bubbles" really are (Which is propaganda made up by your tree-hugging elementary school counselor). The subways can make you very impatient and frustrated. They drive me crazy. I've really been 'bouting with selfishness before I left for my trip, and I've tried to find ways to determine the root of the problem and how to correct it. I still haven't found the root of the problem, but I have found a very good example of selfishness manifesting in my life.

Impatience is an expression of selfishness. Why are we impatient? Is it because WE have to be somewhere? Maybe the redlight is making ME late....maybe the people walking so slow down this hallway are blocking MY way. I must be on time to MY meeting.

Regardless of the circumstances, I always find myself to be impatient because the result of me being: late, frustrated with someone else's ignorance, etc. All of these things stem to my wanting something for myself.

I still haven't completed this thought, like I said, I've just identified a part of the problem.